Similar Genes, Different Personalities

By LISA BELKIN

I had an NPR driveway moment earlier this week, listening to a piece by Alix Spiegel about why siblings are so different.

After all, she points out, you are far more likely to share physical characteristics with a sibling than you are with someone randomly chosen from the population. This is dramatically true of cognitive abilities as well.
But personality? Studies have found that when it comes to things like extroversion or conscientiousness, siblings are similar only 20 percent of the time, which is only the slightest bit higher than a comparison to a random stranger.

At first that sounds impossible. Wouldn’t people who share genes and parents and a childhood home be likely to turn out alike?

Then I thought of my own family. My brother and sister and I do look alike, and (though we would not have conceded this when we were much younger) we are all similar in intelligence. But in so many other ways we are opposites. Get the three of us together and at least someone in the room can be described as garrulous or taciturn, cheap or indulgent, meticulous or sloppy, dramatic or cool. A Venn diagram would have some overlap, but not much. How is this possible?

There are three theories, Spiegel reports. The first, known as “divergence,” postulates that children are competing for their parents’ “time, love and attention,” and, as Darwin pointed out, organisms tend to “diverge” and specialize to minimize direct competition. “So if one child in a family seems to excel at academics,” Spiegel says, “the other child — consciously or unconsciously — will specialize in a different area, like socializing.”

The second theory, that of a nonshared environment, argues that we only seem to be “growing up in the same family as our siblings,” when in fact we are being raised in measurably different households. We experience the same events at different ages; we have different numbers of older and younger siblings; we are born to different parents — older or younger, wealthier or struggling, happier or less so, more experienced, less energetic.

And, finally, there is the theory of “exaggeration.” It is similar in result to “divergence,” though different in its cause. A child who might be considered outgoing and social in a family of introverts, becomes the “quiet one” in a family of extroverts. She then thinks of herself that way, chooses quieter friends and gradually becomes somewhat quieter. (As parents we are supposed to make sure this doesn’t happen — that we don’t compare our children. That is, of course, impossible. But it’s the reason I’m not mentioning my own children in this post. Exaggeration and divergence may be the natural order of things, but declaring in print that one child is vanilla and the other is chocolate is still a bad idea.)

NPR is spending the week looking at siblings. Apt timing. As Spiegel said:
…as you eat your turkey, look across the table. There, you may see a brother, a sister, a step-sibling, a twin. And maybe they’re your friend, and maybe they’re your enemy, but one thing is for certain: Their very existence has had a profound influence on your life.

Women prefer men in red, study shows

(CNN) -- Men on the prowl for a date may want to add red to their wardrobe.
A new multicultural study shows red is no longer just a sexy color for women. Men in red are considered just as appealing.

Women in China, the United States, England and Germany said they found men pictured wearing red, or surrounded by the color, more sexually attractive.

Women consider men in red as higher in status and more likely to climb the social ladder, according to Andrew Elliot, the lead author and professor of psychology at the University of Rochester.
The perception of high status is what leads to the attraction, he says.

Despite the cultural differences among women surveyed, the results were consistent, according to the study.
However, researchers said, the color only enhanced perceptions of status and romance, but not did not make the man seem more likable and kind.

"Women's romantic preferences are of great interest ... and although the popular media often portrays female sexuality as a mystery, scientific research has revealed several factors that influence women's attraction to men," the study says.

Authors attributed the color's appeal to its historic use as a symbol of wealth and status. It is used in bold body paintings and necklaces in rituals and ceremonies in various cultures, including the Masai in east Africa.

"In primitive societies, sacred objects were painted or coated in red to enhance their potency and convey a sense of great importance," the study says.

"In ancient China, Japan, and sub-Saharan Africa, red was viewed as a symbol of prosperity and high status. Classical Romans called the most powerful men ' "the ones who wear red.' "
The red effect was limited to women's perception of men. Color did not make a difference when men rated the appeal of another male.

Authors conducted seven experiments, including the effect of red and white on a man's attractiveness.
The study was published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology.

7 Types Of Guys Women Can't Resist

Have you ever wondered why some guys have all the luck when it comes to women? It's no secret that certain archetypal males have been proven over and over to be irresistible to women -- and it's not simply because of their good looks or a well-defined six pack.

The truth is that women tend to be attracted to certain personality traits and so, naturally, they flock to the men who possess them.

Below are seven of these "ideal types" of guys that women are drawn to, and an explanation as to why these guys are so appealing. But don't freak out or permanently alter your personality if you don't fit into any of these categories exactly -- women will see right through that.

Ideally, you should exude some traits from each of these different categories; in fact, you probably already do. With a quick perusal of the list below, you should be in much better shape to understand what women are looking for, and most importantly, to make sure that you fit the bill.

1. The Romantic Guy

He believes in classic romance. He is constantly bringing her flowers and chocolate and lighting candles during dinner. He calls her often to let her know he is thinking about her and looks into her eyes and tells her how he feels.

Why he is so irresistible: A woman loves to feel appreciated, and the romantic guy makes this happen. He uses romantic gestures to show her he is thinking about her. As an added bonus, she feels free to reciprocate and act on her own romantic tendencies.

2. The Confident Guy

He is totally secure and sure of himself. He is assertive in public and gives off an aura of power and control (within reason of course, as the "cocky guy" is not on this list). In a relationship, he doesn't get jealous of other men; he doesn't feel threatened by his girlfriend's male friends or coworkers.

Why he is so irresistible: Women are attracted to confident men. Consider this: If you think you are great, she will probably be influenced to think the same. The confident man doesn't seek approval from women, and this makes them want him even more.

3. The Artistic Guy


The artistic guy is spontaneous and lives for the moment. Often, he will use his creativity to woo her, such as with a song he has written about her or a painting he has made for her.

Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants to feel unique and special. There is no better way to make her feel this way than to use her as your muse or your source of inspiration. She is intrigued by the artistic guy's creative mind and especially by the way he incorporates her into his art.

Charismatic, rebellious, smart, and considerate guys all get the girl... Next Page >>

4. The Foreign Guy

He comes from a faraway exotic country; he might have a cute accent or a unique way of seeing the world. His social customs and everyday behavior can be a little quirky, but he always manages to come off as uniquely charming. Note that you don't have to actually be foreign to fit into this category. If you are well-traveled or speak many languages, you might be able to pull off the charm as well as any sweet-talking foreigner.

Why he is so irresistible: Charisma, charisma and charisma. There's not much more I can say about this one; it's just that mysterious je ne sais quoi that is so alluring. Women often choose this kind of guy if they are curious about the world, but most of the appeal comes down to a fascination with dating someone from another culture.

5. The Free Spirit Guy (aka the Bad Boy)

The free spirit guy goes where the wind takes him -- and the wind usually takes him on some kind of wacky adventure. He might ride a motorcycle, or he might skip work to take her on a last-minute road trip, but this guy doesn't worry too much about the consequences; he just sees where his own devices take him.

Why he is so irresistible: Every woman wants a bit of a rebel (within reason, of course). She loves his carefree attitude and hopes that it will rub off on her too. The bad boy spirit adds an element of youthfulness to the relationship and she loves to try taming him -- although she knows she'll never actually succeed.

6. The Intelligent/Witty Guy

He instigates conversations that are intellectually stimulating and listens to what she has to say in response. He makes her laugh with his clever sense of humor and has an uncanny ability to make politics interesting. He can shoot the breeze with her for hours and it will never get boring.

Why he is so irresistible: As time goes on, your hairline may recede and your buff body may soften, but if you can keep her interested, you've won half the battle. An intellectual connection is a big part of what sustains a relationship and if you can show her that you've got that, she'll be hooked pretty quickly.

7. The Considerate Guy

He holds open her car door and pulls out her chair. He foots the bill for dinner and makes sure to offer her dessert. He always asks her out with reasonable notice and picks her up at her door. He is generally sensitive to how she is feeling and when she is ready to go home.

Why he is so irresistible: Surprised? You probably think that nice, considerate guys never get the woman, but consider this: Once a woman has gone through her share of the bad guy, the rude guy and the not-calling-her-back guy, she will likely reevaluate her priorities. It takes a bit of maturity on her part to realize this, but eventually most girls come around and realize that they want a guy who will treat them well in the long run.
a word of caution

Don't take any of these character types to the extreme or try to be someone you're not -- it will be way too obvious.

The key to success here is to keep in mind why women like the character traits outlined above and what kind of gestures they appreciate. Then, mix them up and see which of these traits and gestures you are most comfortable with. With just a little bit of effort, you'll be able to find more than a few irresistible qualities within yourself -- and accordingly, she'll be easily wooed by your newfound individuality.

Profiling Student Cheaters: Are They Psychopaths?

There are lots of reasons students cheat — lack of preparation, lack of academic aptitude, sheer laziness. Now a new study suggests another explanation: it's coded in their personality.

Psychologists at the University of British Columbia found that students who cheated in high school and college were likely to meet the criteria for psychopathic personality — the type that tends toward a range of bad behaviors, like alcohol and drug abuse, bullying and reckless driving. It's the same impulsive, callous and
antisocial personality that characterizes criminal psychopaths, though, to be fair, student cheaters scored a lot lower on psychopathy questionnaires than actual criminal offenders.

The researchers found that academic cheaters also scored high in two other personality traits: narcissism (people who suffer from grandiosity, self-centeredness and an outsized sense of entitlement) and
Machiavellianism (cynical, amoral types who make it a habit to manipulate others). But of the three disordered personalities — together known colorfully as the Dark Triad — psychopathy was the only trait significantly associated with student cheating.

The new paper, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: Applied, describes the results of a series of three studies involving nearly 600 college students.

In each, the volunteers were asked to fill out anonymous personality questionnaires; some participants also took tests of intelligence.

Personality questions included: "I like to be the center of attention" (i.e., I may be a narcissist), "It's hard to get ahead without cutting corners here and there" (Machiavellianism), and "I have attacked someone with the goal of hurting them" (psychopathy).

In the first study, researchers determined students' previous history of cheating through self-reports; in the second, they used an objective measure of current cheating — the online service Turn-It-In, which scrutinizes students' written work for passages copied from previous papers, academic articles and Web pages.

The results: according to self-reports, 73% of college students admitted to cheating at least once in high school, a finding that is roughly in line with estimates from previous surveys; rates of Turn-It-In plagiarism were much lower, at 15%, which is also in line with previous studies looking at single opportunities for cheating. Overall, after controlling for other personality types and factors known to predict academic fraud (lack of aptitude, for instance), psychopathy remained most strongly correlated with cheating.

Why do psychopaths cheat? According to the third and final study involving 223 undergrads, some reported that they felt cheating was an acceptable way to achieve their academic goals, such as getting As or winning a scholarship. "It is notable that the achievement goals shared by most college students trigger cheating in psychopaths alone," the authors write.

Students who scored high in psychopathy also, predictably, tended to report a lack of concern about behaving honestly or morally — that is, whether or not cheating is wrong, they really didn't care.

The study's authors conclude that personality can be used to identify students who are likely to cheat. Problem is, it wouldn't be ethically or practically feasible to prescreen college students for psychopathy — and, anyway, psychopathic traits are notoriously hard to change.

"On the whole," the authors write, "our character analysis suggests that the only way to eliminate cheating among psychopaths is to make it impossible."

Sources "Times Magazine"

What is a Medium?

Rebecca Rosen explains the difference between a psychic and a medium and why the distinction between the two is very important.


Whether one refers to him- or herself as a psychic medium, spiritual medium, intuitive medium or any other similar title, it's all essentially the same thing—the emphasis being on talking to spirits in the afterlife. While I refer to myself as a "psychic medium," there is a big difference between a psychic and a medium.

A psychic isn't necessarily a medium, but a medium is a psychic. This is an important distinction and a good place to start, because I meet clients all the time who misunderstand the difference and confuse the two.

Psychics tune into the energy of people or objects by feeling or sensing elements of their past, present and future. Simply put, psychics rely on their basic sense of intuition and psychic ability to gather information for the person being read.

Mediums take it a step further. A medium uses his or her psychic or intuitive abilities to see the past, present and future events of a person by tuning into the spirit energy surrounding that person. This means mediums rely on the presence of non-physical energy outside of themselves for the information relevant to the person being read.

Similarly, all medical students are required to take the basic entry-level medical courses, such as physics, biology and chemistry. Premed students are trained in the basics before moving on to higher-level courses and choosing their medical specialty, such as cardiology, pediatrics or oncology.

The emphasis of my work is mediumship: making connections with and delivering messages from people who are no longer living to those who still are. I receive information primarily and directly from the dead, spirit guides and angels.
While there are a few different forms of mediumship, I work as a mental medium, which means I communicate with spirits through the use of telepathy. Spirits impress my mind and body with thoughts and feelings that come in the form of "clairs." I mentally "hear" (clairaudience), "see" (clairvoyance), "know" (claircognizance) and/or "feel" (clairsentience) messages from spirits. I like to say that I act as the bridge between the spiritual and the physical world, with the intention of healing both worlds.

Another important distinction is that while psychic readings often focus on predicting future events, mediums primarily tune into past and present issues. It's my opinion that predicting the future, while sometimes helpful, runs the risk of disempowering people. Always remember that you do have a say in how your future unfolds. Despite what any psychic or medium may "see" in your future, it is important to remember you were given the gift of free will when you came into this world, and at any moment in time you can absolutely redirect your course and create the life you want by changing your thoughts and actions. Psychic information is often just insight into what potentially could happen based on the road you are currently traveling—and it should be used only as a guideline to help you make the best choices for yourself.

Just as in any profession, mediums have specialties and areas of expertise. Unlike Allison Dubois in Medium, I don't work with the police in solving crimes. Or, unlike Melinda Gordon in The Ghost Whisperer, I don't help tormented souls cross over. Over the years, it has become very clear that my job lies in working with souls who have happily crossed over to the other side and, for the most part, are at peace. Sure, they may have regrets or unresolved issues, but they're not haunted or lost. Oftentimes, it's the living that are not at peace. The main goal of your deceased loved ones and spirit guides is to assist you in moving on, free of grief and struggle, so you can fulfill your life lessons and enjoy your time here on earth.

Some people ask if I, much like a doctor, chose this specialty as my service. On a basic human level, the answer is no...it chose me. On a soul level, though, I am certain this is what I signed up to do in this lifetime. My responsibility lies in simply acknowledging my "gift" and what comes naturally for me, and embracing the calling to serve as a messenger for Spirit.

From time to time, it may be helpful to seek out the counsel of someone objective for guidance or connection with spirit, and/or to gain a clearer read on your life. If a psychic, medium or any other intuitive healer speaks to you, I encourage you to set your intentions and then simply let go and go with the flow. Spirit will guide you as to who and what is in your highest and best good in that moment. Also, please remember that no one knows you better than yourself, and no one has a closer connection with your deceased loved ones and spiritual guides than you do. By learning to go within, listen to and trust your own inner voice, you gain access to everything you'll ever need to know. And what could be better than that?


Rebecca Rosen has served as a bridge between this world and those who have crossed over to the other side for the past 10 years. Her work has led to many guest appearances, including Entertainment Tonight, The Rachael Ray Show and Nightline, and her first book, Spirited: Connect to the Guides All Around You (HarperCollins). Due to the high and growing demand for spiritual truth, she has committed herself fulltime to serving as a medium and also educates thousands of people around the country with her seminars, lectures and workshops.

What does your sleep position reveal about your personality?

By Jessica Ashley, Shine staff
Here are the six common sleeping positions and correlated personality traits and health implications, according to this study.

[Graphic via BBC.com]

• Fetus position - A whopping 41% of participants sleep in this curled-up manner. Women are twice as likely to rest like this and it is listed as the most common position. These sleepers are said to have a tough exterior but are still sensitive and may appear to be shy but warm up quickly.

• Log position - If you sleep on your side with both arms down, you are a social, easy-going person who is trusting, sometimes to the point of being gullible. The study showed 15% of people sleep like a log.
• Yearner position - A close third is the side-lying position with both arms out in front of the body, with 13% of partipants sleeping like this. Yearners are noted to be open-minded and still cynical, suspicious, and stubborn about sticking to decisions once they are made.

• Soldier position - These sleepers lie on their backs with arms down and kept close to the body. This 8% study is said to be reserved, quiet, without fuss, and hold themselves and others to a high standard. Soldier sleepers have a higher likelihood for snoring due to the flat-back position, which may not cause them to wake up often but may result in a less restful night's sleep.

• Freefall position - Those people who lie on their bellies with arms under or wrapped around a pillow with head turned to the side, make up 7% of the population studied. Freefallers are brash, outgoing, and are very uncomfortable with criticism.


• Starfish position - Sleepers who lie on their backs with arms up near their head or the pillow account for 5% of participants. These people are good listeners, helpful, and are uncomfortable being the center of attention. People who sleep in starfish position are more likely to snore and to suffer from a poor night's sleep more often.


If you think you are one of those people who move through all of these positions, that's not likely to really be the case. Idzikowski said the research reveals most people stay in the same position all night and only 5% lay differently night by night. Also interesting is that the study showed only one in ten people cover their bodies entirely with a blanket, with most people exposing an arm, leg, or both feet.


What position do you sleep in???????